General Lordisimo’s Apocalypse

“I wear a hairy mask to conceal my insecurities about being 7 feet tall and awkward around females.  But, really, don’t we all wear masks?” ~ Wookie Plato and/or Evan

Speculating on if we were provided a translation for wookie roaring I have concluded that the large hairy creatures from Star Wars very likely are wise sages of all things philosophical.  Of course you may be tempted to point out the violent ways of said wookies but I will quickly rebuke your accusation and point out that in the Star Wars series we only really got to know one wookie, that of course being Chewbacca.  Yes Chewie might have had his moments of outburst but anyone who has taken the time to sit through a lecture on Existentialism and Wookie Angst would know that this is not because Han Solo’s large companion is a mindless beast.  All and all I see the philosophy of the wookies being highly impacted by the fact that they are misunderstood because of their large shaggy appearance and roarish language (not all that unlike a Yeti and/or Sasquatch — coincidence?  I think not).  Perhaps we should all take a moment and consider in what ways we have misjudged the wookies we know.

“I shed therefore I am.” ~Wookie Descartes and/or Me 

I love a good burn . . . you know, when somebody just slams another person, group of people, species, ideology, or just about whatever you want.  A good burn is skillful.  I good burn hurts right in the gut.  A good burn . . . well shit, it burns! 

Because I like to point out a burn when I see one last week I started a second Twitter account called a_burn.  Then at Bears advice last Friday (also after he succeeded in severely burning my poker playing skills) I created a Tumblr blog simply titled A Burn! 

I am pleased with the ease of which Tumblr allows me to quickly present a whole slew of burns that I encounter providing that extra multimedia element that Twitter couldn’t quite do.  I will likely still update the a_burn twitter with quotes, but everything else (and the quotes) will be going up on the A Burn! blog.  Fun fun fun!

Time Magazine gives us 12 new food products that are waiting to please our taste buds.  I’ve tried Aloe Vera juice before (a different one from the brand in the Time article) and it was one of the most refreshing drinks I’ve ever had; great for a really hot day.  I am also really excited/looking forward to trying some of Real Wasabi’s product (especially because they are a South Carolina start-up).  Everything else on the list sounds in the very least interesting (if not quite something I am going to rush out and buy).

Today is Bastille Day in France.  How can one not love a holiday that celebrates the storming of a giant prison by an angry mob (which then led to the Reign of Terror in which a lot-o-folks lost a lot-o-heads).  Go do something French today, sure it’s not our holiday, but still an important day in the history of Western Democracy.

Her name might not mean a lot to most people (in fact I had never head of her until this morning) but when she passed away at the age of 108 on Saturday, this Australian woman was the oldest blogger in the world.  I guess what amazes me about Ms. Riley is the fact that in here life she lived in a time prior to when cars and electricity were still a luxury, when flight was just being invented, and movies were still all silent.  She lived to see two world wars.  As a child the idea of computers and the Internet would have seems absolutely outrageous to her and yet at over a hundred years in age she took up blogging.  What an amazing life.  Read more about Ms. Riley in this CNN article, it is quite interesting.

Sure our Country has its faults but as Glenn Beck points out, there is a lot that is great about America.

Last night Mad, Martha, and I (and eventually Evan and Wright as well) hung out with You Need New Glasses and Thief Thief.   Mad and I went to college with Sean, Christian and Mason from You Need New Glasses and used to go see them play at various places around Plymouth, NH (often in the basement of somebody’s house).  The two bands had been scheduled to play at some oxygen bar here in Greenville but that ended up falling through.  They still got to play at an officially unopened joint (can’t remember the name) even though really it was just us hanging out with them.   All and all it turned out to be a wild and long night and I am exhausted this morning (and a little hung over, though not nearly as bad as I could have been).  Hanging out with the guys was great fun and brought back a lot of memories of the good old college days of questionable decisions, late nights, and rough mornings.  I wish both bands luck as they continue their cross country tours and hope that they make it to Austin, TX in time for their Saturday shows.

So a bunch of people are in whole big hysterics because Iran announced that they test fired some missiles yesterday.  Here is the wonderful kicker.  The image that Iran media released of the missile launches appears to have had some Photoshopping done to it, meaning, quite possibly, that they didn’t really launch as many missiles (probably still launched some but hell who isn’t launching some test missiles these days?).  All and all I think the whole US attitude toward Iran is kind of ridiculous.  Okay, granted, Iran doesn’t have a really good track record of human rights or welcoming attitude toward the US (though the later probably has a lot to do with shit our own country pulled in Iran in the past . . . remember The Shah?  Turns out he wasn’t that great a guy).  The thing is while Iran might talk big and test fire some missiles they probably do not really want to have a military engagement with western nations because it would be pretty bad news bears all around.  Likewise, our country should not really want to have a military engagement with Iran, because even though we are probably far superior in military might an all out war with Iran would likely be very long and very messy just adding vast numbers of American’s dead in the already occurring military campaigns in the Middle East (and they told us Iraq and Afghanistan would be quick little conflicts).  Iran and its leaders aren’t great but a war with that country is very likely to just cause a hell of a lot more problems (just like the war in Iraq did but I’d guess probably on a much bigger scale).  The Iranian leaders are a bunch of douche-bags who like to talk shit and try and stir stuff up but really are not worth the effort.  If they actually do something (like fire first) then retaliate, otherwise just keep up the tight sanctions and maybe, just maybe, consider the possibility that open dialog and diplomacy might solve more problems than bombs and guns will.

Thank you”Tom the Dancing Bug” and Ruben Bolling for this self burning piece of comic hilarity.

via Salon.com