General Lordisimo’s Apocalypse

As I approach almost four months of living in South Carolina (the longest amount of time I’ve ever lived outside of New England) I feel it is appropriate to share some things that I have learned.

1). Drinking your tea sweetened is not just acceptable it is a necessity.

2). Ketchup does not belong on Pulled Pork BBQ unless you want to be knifed.

3). Football is important, and even if, in general, it confuses you, you should enjoy it.

4). The south, being closer to the equator, is warmer than the north (along the same lines, I’m told that snow is rare).

5). There are no moose in the south.

6). Saying “Y’all” saves time, I’ve decided that “You All” is just silly when you can settle for “y’all” it rolls of the tongue so nice.

7). Lots of plants down here have spikey leaves and hurt when I grab them.

8). It is better to call the American Cockroach a Palmetto Bug because the name cockroach just makes people cringe.

9). There are a lot of churches in the south, to a certain degree this kind of scares me.

10). In the south if you get together with a bunch of friends and put shrimp, sausage, potatoes, onions, corn, and Old Bay seasoning in a pot and boil it all, then dump it all out on newspaper and dig in, it is a good ol’ time called a “Low Country Boil.” In the north doing the same thing is probably just crazy talk and boarders on savagery. We have “stew” up North which is a bunch of boiled stuff in a kind of gravy, but you usually eat it with a spoon, and the social element is most often missing.

Yep, things are different down here that is for sure. But I’ve had one hell of a time so far and I intend to stay down here for a time. Hopefully I’ll learn more cool things as I go along.

~ by Nathaniel on September 19, 2007.

Posted in General Destruction